It is very hard to lose a loved one, not only because you will not see them again, but more so when they are relatively young. Some of us have lived to see our parents age gracefully and lived beyond their grand old ages of the eighties and nineties. It is not so this time.
Our beautiful sister Gladys had to leave us with no notice and so suddenly. Despite the emptiness and the abject hurt created, we can only console ourselves with the loving and generous memories that she had threaded when she was with us. For me, at a very prime young age, I learnt that I had a sister called Gladys in a very funny way. I was moved from Adeiso to Keta to live with my maternal grandmother. Within a short time living with my grandmother, I noticed this tall young and beautiful girl who passed through my grandmother’s house, selling tea bread frequently. What struck me instantly was that she always beamed a loving smile at me with her nice set of teeth all showing. And that was not all. She always had samples and, most of the time, whole loaves of tea bread for me. At first, I did not even care who she was as long as I had my tea bread coming in. I finally decided to be inquisitive and asked my grandmother who the ‘tea bread lady’ was. It was then that my grandmother told me the ‘tea bread lady’ was my sister. She went on to advise me that I had many older sisters and brothers who were in high places and I should study hard to emulate them.
As a kindergarten pupil at Keta Roman Catholic School in those days, it made no sense what my grandmother was talking about. I was not interested. All I cared about then was my tea bread. It did not take long before I started noticing sister Gladys at school occasionally, asking about my mother and grandmother in succession. What dawned on me at this early age was that, this was someone who really cared about me!
It didn’t take long before I was transferred to the Bremen Mission School (because my grandmother and mother were forever Presbyterians while our father was catholic) when I was entering the first grade. Since I was transferred, I did not see my sister again that often. In the midst of so much attention on education, as my grandmother stressed so much, I concluded that Gladys was going through the same advice with grandma and that was why she did not frequent my grandmother’s house very often anymore. All I remembered was that our father started coming to our house to talk to my grandmother about something concerning me. It didn’t take long before I was moved again to live with my father in Keta. Even though I was cut off from seeing my favorite sister so often, I was able to fortuitously see her while walking past the Catholic Convent building on my way to pick up the dinner package for our father. This routine went on for several years.
Reaching the age of adolescence made me recognize the essence of reading the daily newspapers. It was on one of those occasions that I read about my sister winning one of the coveted and competitive scholarships offered by the UAC (United Africa Company), the company that our father had retired from as one of their highly productive managers. Though she did not know this, I went to look for her at the ‘Kalamazoo Danger Corner Road House’ to congratulate her. Unfortunately, she was not living there anymore. It was not long before I found out she was at Holy Child Secondary School.
Our contacts got much slimmer because Gladys began spending her holidays with her uncle, Mr. Gilbert Atttipoe (R.I.P.) in Accra or with Mr. Emmanuel Tsikata (R.I.P.) in Adeiso. A few years in-between, I was able to get up and go to look for her at her uncle’s house at Osu. There was another long break in my contact with Gladys until she won a Canadian Government Scholarship to study for her Masters degree in Business Education. Gladys returned to Ghana and started giving of her goodwill by teaching at Keta Secondary School. It was the time of my life that I had fully recognized what Gladys was trying to impart to me and our siblings. I could see all my brothers and sisters flourishing educationally and socially. Atsu was a musician in his school band; Paulina was also at Holy Child Secondary School, while I was at Mawuli School, all of us advancing very well academically. All was well with our many brothers and sisters. At this point, I spent my long school vacations with my maternal uncle in Accra and went to Keta only briefly prior to returning to school.
There was this once most memorable moment when I came to Keta on one of my short visits. It was close to Christmas. Sister Gladys had invited me to come to a faculty party with her. I felt so honored to attend that party with her, more so because it made me feel so respected, and that I was also somebody important. This made me respect her even more. I knew Gladys was very good at ballroom dancing. I still remember the days when she and her boyfriend Dunstan Lasey would go ballroom dancing. Dunstan happened to have attended the same high school as I did. Just from the way this gentleman was so kind and friendly to me, I could sense how he cared about Gladys. It was kind of odd to me, many years ago, that they did not end up together. Up till now, if Dunstan should see me, he would be as warm as ever! But that is the way life goes.
On her first visit to Atsu in Los Angeles several years ago, I specifically requested that sister Gladys stop over in Houston, Texas, to spend at least a week with me and my family. I was very honored to receive her. On another of her visits to Los Angeles, I was able to combine a wedding trip to see her again. Since that last interaction, I had not seen her till this sad end.
For me, there is a big lesson I had never learned until now. It is this: To any loved one that you have anything dear to tell, snatch a special moment to let them know. I have so much to talk to Gladys about but I have lost that opportunity by taking life for granted. Even though this is my personal strategy for avoiding stress in my life, I have learnt to reach out and let the closest people around me know what I honestly feel and what I think about them. From now on, I am resolved to find many ways of opening up to friends and family. Lesson learned!
Dear Gladys, even though I am not privileged to see you again, I take this opportunity to bid you farewell. Thank you for doing the things that made me feel so special and highly cared about. Mawu nanor anyi kpli wo. Xede nyuie!
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