HOW THE NEWS HIT ELI, GLADYS' SON.

Thanks to all of you who’ve actively participated in this blog so far. It has taken me a while, partly because of the emotional trauma of seeing the pictures, reading your texts and reminiscing the times spent with Mama. I finally braved it this afternoon, and those pictures really hit home for me, just as anticipated.

While at work on Tuesday September first in the afternoon California time, I received a call from my wife, May, saying that my sister Woedem had called and wanted to talk to me. I immediately felt this must be important because Woedem and I had earlier the same morning exchanged a series of emails because she was thinking of visiting us, her siblings in Canada and the US. I wondered, why would Woedem be calling, after she and I had just exchanged a bunch of emails? When Woedem broke the news, my heart just sunk. I simply could not believe it. Mama? Noooooo!!! Ohhhhhh!! I broke down and wept like a baby.

After hanging up with Woedem, I gathered some strength and called Akpene, my sister in Portland. She was at work and did not pick up. Next, I called Uncle Atsu, Mama’s brother. Uncle and I speak often, and he usually instantly makes me out by voice. I was clearly so shaken that Uncle could not tell from my voice as to who was calling. After I murmured what had happened, Uncle screamed, obviously in shock and disbelief.

Again, I gathered some calm and went to break the news to my boss, who was also quite a good friend. Yes, I thought I was calm, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I approached my boss and asked whether he had some time to talk. He offered me a chair. As soon as I dropped in the chair, I was sobbing again helplessly. He was clearly shaken, as he had never seen me like that. It took a while before I could explain what had happened. He comforted me and told me about when he lost his mom. He tried to encourage me to be strong, but that had only the reverse effect. I broke down again sobbing even worse, before finally controlling myself. I thanked him and left his office. The rest of the day was, for lack of a worse word, terrible.

The last time I saw Mama in person was in late 2004, when I paid a surprise visit to Ghana with my sister Akpene. I still recall the utter joy in her when she saw us. I WANT, WANT, desperately WANT to remember her JUST like that. And now, when I think about how I would never hear her youthful voice again, it just makes me feel sick. I now wish I called her every single day, until she gets fed up taking to me.

Mama had not met my wife May, one reason why it hurts so badly. Mama never met our newborn and her granddaughter Nuna, another reason why it hurts so badly. Mama has not even seen pictures of Nuna, as I was still yet to post pictures to her address due to lack of internet access in Juapong. Yet another reason why it hurts to badly. I take comfort in the solid relationship that May had with Mama, though both didn’t recall ever meeting in person back at Akosombo. I also take comfort that Mama heard her granddaughter, Nuna, make sounds over the phone. These priceless moments of interaction between Mama and my young family gives me some comfort, but the thought of never picking up the phone and calling Mama again and again just leaves a terrible, terrible feeling of loss. It is hard to imagine any loss that could trump this one.