IT HURTS SO MUCH!.....Paulie's very emotional tribute to her sister Gladys.

Oh! My Sister, why so soon?

Growing up as a little girl, I knew other senior girls both at home and at school, but the only one I looked up to was you, my sister Gladys! In my childhood world, you were my role model and I always followed your footsteps, as you guided me along. We attended the same basic school and you were my senior. We both moved along to the same Senior High School and, thereafter, to the same University. We even did the same course at first degree, after which you diverted to Education and I to Banking.

You were an icon in our family. You were very intelligent and you always excelled in class. Reverend Sister Theodorus of Keta Convent School loved you for your intelligence and good character. So did other Reverend Sisters in Holy Child School, not forgetting Miss Booth, a British tutor. Your intellect earned you a UAC scholarship to support your Senior High School education, and I followed your footsteps as usual with a CMB scholarship. Your good character again earned you the position of school prefect, but in this instance my reward was your little sister getting severely bullied during her first year!

I can still picture you coming from Canada on holidays in 1969, and finally in 1970 after your Masters Degree. You were a beauty, full of life and energy. You held so much promise and potential for future advancement. You were a source of pride and inspiration for all of us. You were the first lady in our family at the time to have reached such a high educational level, even though there were men with similar qualifications. We, your lady siblings, worked hard to be like you. The younger men siblings did not want to be left out either. They followed suit.

In our adult life, two issues always amazed me about you:

1. Your religious life, which made you attend mass daily and hold on strictly to the Catholic teachings.

2. Your extraordinary kind heart, which welcomed every one into your home, as reflected by the large size of your household at Hohoe for 17 years, even though you had only 4 biological children of your own.

You counted neither the material cost nor the emotional cost of such a large household to yourself. You loved every child and brought all up in a religious manner as your own. You were like a big tree, which gave food, shade and protection to every animal that hanged onto your branches. Oh! Did some of us take certain things for granted? Were some of us oblivious to your emotions and your needs? Or was it because the bible teachings went a little off gear and you blindly loved your neighbour more than yourself, without realizing early enough the future adverse effects on you? Did some of us forget to work for your interest and comfort, despite your sacrifices? Did some of us disappoint you by showing signs of ingratitude and lack of appreciation for your sacrifices? O my dear sister, did we misunderstand your enthusiasm for your projects and fail to see the good you stood for? Oh, what was it? What drove you into depression?

My sister, it hurts so much to accept your death. It hurts so much to accept the fact that we, your family members, were far away at the time of your death and, therefore, could not give you any support. We missed your last words. It hurts me personally that I was not there to detect the early signs of the re-onset of the depression, as I did in the past. I could have brought you to Accra again for a change!

We met again in June 2009, but immediately after that, my own bereavement kept me away from Juapong for 2 months prior to your death on 1^st September 2009. I wish you had given me a telephone call to let me know you were unwell. Our Catholic Teachings made you keep your marriage vows for 40 years as at 23^rd August 2009, exactly a week before your death! That day passed quietly. There was no celebration! Not even a word from anyone!

Oh! My sister! You are gone. Who am I to question God about your early departure from this world? My only prayer is to humbly ask God to open the gates of heaven for you. I also need the grace of God to enable me break the news of your death to “Granny", our mother. I believe our mother never in her wildest dreams thought her first born would leave this world before her. You were even planning her 90^th Birthday for next year. It hurts so much as I recollect all these. In my quiet moments, the tears have been flowing. I wish I had understood your emotional problems better than I did . I wish I had been more gentle with you. Oh! Oh! Oh! I wish..... I wish…. But God knows best. May He give you eternal rest. We shall meet one day in eternity.

Baba nawo sia……. Baba nawo loo……… Na dzudzor nam le nutifafa me loo…….

Mia do go le Mawu gbor.